Thrift Whore Thursday Pictorial

Disclaimer: GRAPHIC SCENES OF HAWT THRIFT WHORES GETTING DEALS TO FOLLOW!!!!

Yes, that's $7.99 for a vintage, marble-topped side table. Tag also reads, 'Must Go Today'...well, I can certainly help with that:

And:

We came. We conquered. We Thrift Whore'd.

Betch-Slapped by Brass!

Last week there was the cutest little mid-century dresser featured on Free Shiot Friday, and this week, it's this dining set! Presenting Brass Regalia Realness:

She isn't even attempting to trick y'all into thinking she's real brass, but cleaned up, re-upholstered in something fab and given a new glass top, she could help you WERK your hostess skillz beyond belief:

The table base design is giving us all kinds of Dynasty...it's on it's side on the end:

Happy Friday, y'all-- now go out and score some Free Shiot!

Thrift Whore Thursday-- Twerk Time!!!

Shake yo butt up & down, side to side, Betches, 'cause today 's Thrift Whore Thursday is 'bout to go off!:

And:

Confused? What y'all are looking at is a gilded entertainment center from back in the day when they knew how-to make an entertainment center! You've got built-in's for dayzzzz, like this record player shiot:

And these compartments for your album collection:

And y'all see that mirrored panel? That whore just so happens to lift up, holding one of the chic-est bars on earth! WHAT?!? Oops, guess I didn't snap a pic of that, but TRUST it was Shut-the-FU$K you amazing!! There's also two speakers tucked behind the compartment doors on both ends that look like this:

This shiot is SLAYING me-- and for only $200, it could be in y'all's living room SLAYING you too!!! Get on it! Happy whoring!!! And Twerking!

Today...

three years ago, I married my best friend...and this went down in front of our custom designed, toile-printed, Step & Repeat:

Hands down, the best day of MY LIFE! #WERKBETCH!!!! I love you, Dylan!

Furniture F*CKFEST, y'all!

Sometimes all the good us Thrift Whores do for the community comes back to us! Like this feast I stumbled upon at a Salvation Army furniture warehouse sale. BEYOND:

And oh shiot-- Look, y'all: that betch brought her portable cart along! WERK SHOP LIVE Hunty Blue Blouse!

Look at all this LIFE:

SHUT UP MARBLE DINING TABLE!!!

And just F*CK YOU China Cabinet all chic and shiot:

REALLY?

Oh yeah, y'all...REALLY:

ANOTHER. MARBLE. TABLE. WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE???

Them. Damn that was GOOD! Happy Whoring, y'all!

Free Shiot Friday!!!

Can someone please grab this free shiot off the street and change YOUR LIFE??:

This cabinet is screaming to get painted in a fun color and then serve yo ass in the kitchen as extra work surface/storage, the dining room as a server/buffet or in the living room as a media console/credenza/ or an entryway table...

Point is: pieces like these are workhorses. They're uber-functional and can look chic too, with some quick paint lovin'...and being free means you can't go wrong no matter what. Free workhorses...that's the kind of horse I like to ride!!! I mean. What a great way to start a weekend! Savor it, y'all!

Style SH*ITSHOW at HomeGoods!

Y'all, Dyl and I popped into our local HomeGoods recently to nab some fun & hopefully o.t.t. accessories for the final installation of a clients' office...witness what went down:

And then these:

Standing all at attention and shiot, DEMANDING to be made into lamps! Hmmm, k! This:

'Cause biotch y'all know you've been searching all over God's green for the bright yellow Tuscan urn to match your baby's new shoes! #babyshoeurn! Oh, and then this betch, who thought she was all cute and stuff up on the her shelf and flew right into our shopping cart:

Her:

Hims Horses:

These shiny whores:

Then shiot got really REAL here with this and time stood still:

Stalagmite lamp hawtness almost took down the entire venue...who ARE you people???? I got my answer, y'all:

Shut the F*%k YOU FOOT! The slaying continued:

I'd say that was a successful style slapping session provided by our friends at HomeGoods...damn!

Thrift Whore Thursday

Y'all, the Brooklyn Heights Housing Works WERKED me over recently when I stopped in for a Thrift Whore session. Look at all this sensual candy:

Imagine that gumdrop reupholstered in some fab fabric, like a graphic plaid or geometric, then the wood trim all turned out bright white, or in an accent color lifted right out of your fabric? Dripping gorgeousness!

If y'all haven't saddled up for a ride atop the brass train yet, go ahead and spread, 'cause it's BACK in full effect-- as far as home decor goes! And not the chintzy, cheap variety...I'm talking about 100% real deal brassness...lucky for us whores, I see it ALL THE TIME at thrift stores, like these babies:

Those little bits and bots of brass are perf for those of you out there who aren't convinced that this home decor moment is really upon us...they're small, really inexpensive and will pizazz-ify y'all's shelves, mantles or coffee/end tables. Go brass or bust!

These busts kinda stopped me mid-skip in the store...I'm intrigued, slightly creeped out-- in a good way-- so naturally they worth sharing:

I would probably rock those out by painting them all white or the same color, like hot pink-- gasp wood-o-philes & art snobs-- it would totally modernize and take the hibee geebs out of 'em, right?

These lil guys just winked at me and are giving us full-on toe play...yummy:

I don't often bother with fashion while whoring...but c'mon, black COWBOY boots??? Y'all know you want them-- in your MOUTH!

Aren't these ladies just like Precious Moments statues?

They just need to be good and worked over, like most of us thrift whores! Lose those skirts and swaddle them in new amazing fabrics, ahhhh, they'll be LIVING in yo house!!! Their curvy silhouettes are giving us ALL BODY, ALL THE TIME!

This one here, style slapped me full on when I rounded the corner!:

But y'all know it's the kind of sting we thoroughly enjoy-- and SEEK OUT! More curves, round and stone-- YES! I always encourage my clients to go for the round (or oval) when selecting end tables, coffee tables, even dining tables...learned this trick from Tae...hey Tae...round is obvi feminine, it helps to break up all the masculine lines that most spaces are full of and it's easier to navigate around...keeps the energy flowing in a space.

But then again, so does this bamboo beaut:

What would she do to y'all's lives if she were painted an awesome parrot-green? You'd constantly be RIDING HER-- that's what!

And make no mistake about the one she's currently riding...

Y'all can't go wrong with these types of dressers...they're unbridled work whores! Great for storage, great as entryway tables, buffet & consoles, changing tables...sometimes y'all will need to retro-fit them for your specific needs, and of course, a can of paint in a cool color and some new knob or pull action will absolutely transform this piece-- and ultimately, YOUR LIFE!

And that's really the whole point of being a thrift whore, no? Happy Whoring!

It's Friday and there's Free snow for the taking!

Well damn if NYC and vicinity hasn't had it's fair share of heinous weather and now Nemo is upon us!!! In fact, as I type this, there's some sort of air strike sounding siren going off in the distance and I'm not quite sure what it's alerting me to? Snow? Ice? Nuclear fallout? Since when does NYC use sirens in neighborhoods? Just more drama to add to an already high drama alert situation? YES! See, I wasn't already amped up enough by all the media coverage on Nemo, so let's sound some alarms, that probably haven't been used since the 50's, to heighten the scene even more! Speaking of, today's Free Shiot Friday is a real doozie, check it:

Yeah, in case that pic isn't clear enough:

There's just so much wrong with this scenario...but one of the highlights of wrongness here is, 'hi, I've got a pig's head I need to throw out, so I'm gonna go to the trouble of bagging it, but I think rather than just throw it out in the trash bins in front of my building, where I normally throw out all my trash, I'm gonna walk across the street, meander down the sidewalk a bit and then dump this bag in Prospect Park'...wtf? I know our neighborhood has some real issues with cleanliness, as witnessed by the endless parade of all things chicken strewn over the sidewalks at any given time (and season!), but this one kinda just takes precedence...

Y'all, happy Friday...awwww, I heart NYC...remember, sometimes just b/c it's FREE, doesn't mean you want to take it home!

Apartment Shoot

Y'all, I shot bits of our apartment back in April 2011 with the uber-talented, Bob Martus:

Catch the rest of those shots in my portfolio section...anyway, We always knew we weren't finished with the shoot-- we just didn't realize it would take damn near two years to make it happen!?! Well, here we are, getting back in the photo groove and finishin' what we started:

No, I'm not moving, y'all...

This is what goes down when you get a photographer and a prop stylist all up in yo grill-- in yo face with jumblin' up yo shiot like you was movin' but all your really doin' is takin' a picture of yo house! That's called GLAMOUR and consider yo-selves, schooled!!!

And here in NYC, we grab power WHEREVER we can scrounge it up...this one kitchen outlet is powering a photo shoot AND tonight's dinner, simmering in the slow cooker! YES! Y'all know I'm all about double-value in my house!

Even my poor dog was all wide-eyed and feelin' bamboozled, wandering from one mess to the next:

Cant' wait to share the fab pics soon!!! Patrician Court realness can't be denied! XXOOOO!

Thrift Whores-- our theme song!

It's a 'special sauce' kinda Thrift Whore Thursday up in here y'all...we got us a theme song! YES! Y'all know your whorin' always goes that much better when you got some kinda beat or rhythm to shake it to! Well, get ready to get your groove on to this sassy situation...it's AMAZING!:

Happy Whoring, y'all!

I'm getting back onstage...through a Time Machine!!!

Y'all, I'm just beyond delighted to share that through a really twisted, yet divine, turn of events I am dusting off my make-up kit and getting back on the stage! YES! (Some of you Dazzlers may not know, but before all my decorating & styling hilarities, I used to be a full-time actor-- it's the reason I moved to NYC in the first place!) The show is a pop musical experience called, Totally Tubular Time Machine

It's being billed as, "New York City's only interactive, intergalactic, pop music experience!" Also, it's a "reality based pop musical that you to time travel and party up-close and personal with a cast of 'celebrity' pop stars (past and present) performing live: Madonna, Britney Spears, Michael Jackson, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, etc." And many more:

Aptly, I am playing the Queen of the Decades-- which trust, is a REAL stretch, y'all-- who's kinda like the emcee of this whole situation-- and I am having an absolute BLAST!!! (This also explains my total skank-ness for being MIA the entire week.....sorry!) The show has a soft open tonight at Culture Club, and will be running Saturdays at 8:00 PM...check the TTTM website (link above) for ticket and more show info. and get yo asses to this show...it's hysterical and everyone in it is absolutely inFU&%ingcredible!!!WERK!!!